we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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