He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
