I must be too annoying 4 u.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
