She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize