Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
