I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
this is an emotional support booty call
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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