I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize