I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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