Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
