Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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