so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
