I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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