No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
