One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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