I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That accounts for only three of the penises
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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