gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
