I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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