I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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