I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
