look no pants
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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