He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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