Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
