While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
