he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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