Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
