It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This is not my ceiling
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
