What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
