can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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