So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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