Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
