I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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