Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize