And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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