May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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