Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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