i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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