i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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