i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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