if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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