u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Semen is not good for contacts.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
