I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize