So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
