put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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