They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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