morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
