Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
