After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
