Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
