you win again, gameday.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
