I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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