You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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