so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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