Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
