I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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