I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
