I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just gift wrapped bread.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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