she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
