there were more penises there than on chat roulette
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
