he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
two words: eviction party
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
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